I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
