I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
