It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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