hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
