I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
