i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
