"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
