This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
