I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
