so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize