why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
