What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
