morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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