We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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