"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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