It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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