Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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