I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Barsexuality is the new black.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina is very pro this idea
there is puke in my bra ... again
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