butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
