Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Houston, we have a squirter
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
