can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
