I'm really into asian looking animals
too bad you live with your parents still
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
