I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
