It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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