Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
