are you so shy because you have an std?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
