are you still at the devil's house?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
COCAINE IS GR8
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
