i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
someone owes me an orgasm
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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