But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
