I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
