i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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