you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
