Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
