It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
