So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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