well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
