a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize