I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
