Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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