Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
