I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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