Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
