i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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