You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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