i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
