we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
