How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
