worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
