I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
