Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
