I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
