Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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