I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
