this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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