i think my mom watched the whole time
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
