Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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