try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
