Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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