i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
