Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
