I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
