you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
