I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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