Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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