I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
