She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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