I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I came so hard my ears popped.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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