Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
