I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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