If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
