I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
