i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
