You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize