last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
