her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Boobs speak an international language.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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